Mindless Writing

I almost did not write today. But, the blank page is like a blank mind. Really...For me that’s not really possible, my mind is never blank. Perhaps for a few nano-seconds, a couple times a year.

My mind is constantly in overload. I wish I could just focus on one thought at a time. No... my mind won't sit still. I tell it to, but it will not listen. It leaps from tree to tree, jumps from thought to thought. Deep into the past, deep into the future it wanders everywhere.

Then it comes to a stand still, ceasing to move and meandering in the present. Only for a moment. Thoughts overwhelm me...perhaps if things were different, or different directions were taken, I would be on a better path. What if? What if? Wasted time and energy to think of what if. For a moment it is a dead end.

Then, my mind catches a glimpse of the sun rising in the distance. I imagine bigger and taller trees. My mind soars, I jump quickly from tree to tree, reaching for that perfect page in life. Now I have a vision and a dream.

Then I fail and encounter disappointment. There are distractions. My mind easily wanders. It comes upon shiny gems, pretty flowers, and flashy clothes and begins to desire more. It loses its way and takes many diversions. Soon, my mind is lost again in it’s own maze.

My mind searches for guidance and seeks a purpose. It tries so hard to concentrate. Then my mind guides my hand to scribble on the blank page. Words pour out from my mind. Thoughts flow and the page fills with words.

Then, suddenly, my mind plays a trick on my hand and leads it elsewhere. Lost again. My mind is again leaping from tree to tree. I ask...What am I doing? Where am I going? What was I writing?